


Home

by Syrus



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-23
Updated: 2013-08-13
Packaged: 2017-12-15 21:16:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/854149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Syrus/pseuds/Syrus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leonard McCoy was very certain that he was a man that could never succeed in a relationship, and this was admittedly harder to face during the holiday season.  He was quite certain that he was unchangeable, but Spock finds a way to turn his idea right on its head.  Meanwhile, Jim Kirk and Nyota Uhura discover sides of each other that they never bothered to look for before.  Spock/McCoy, Kirk/Uhura</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

McCoy wasn't sure what he had done to his ex wife that led to her feeling as though he was scum found under her shoe, and the Christmas season was probably one of the worst times to get it rubbed in his face yet again. It was true that he and Jocelyn had probably what had to have been one of the least amicable break ups that could have been imaginable, all the way down to having lawyers arguing over every single bit of property they shared and every dollar he had to his name, and it always brought a bitter feeling in the back of his throat to remember their final days together.

All of this had her determined to keep their daughter from him, and that was something he couldn't stand. It was true that he'd let their relationship fall to the wayside when work consumed his time, but he thought the world of Johanna, and even if his marriage went down the tubes, he maintained his relationship with his daughter since she meant the world to him. Perhaps Jocelyn didn't take kindly to that, and that was probably why she ended things, not even waiting a month after their divorce was final to pick up a new, unlucky bastard, and she left him without a home or family.

Maybe he wasn't completely sad to leave, but he really did miss his little girl. He ended up in space, the place he hated most because he felt like he had no where else to go, but he soon found that he couldn't have chosen a better crew to be stranded with in the dark life sucking vacuum than the crew on the Enterprise. He made friends with Jim from the moment they rode the transport to Starfleet Academy, though he'd be hard pressed to admit it, but the greater surprise was the grudging friendship he'd formed with the ship's first officer, Commander Spock.

It was true that Spock always exuded this aura of calm that especially irritated him when he thought Spock should be feeling something in certain situations, but the better he got to know the other, the more he realized how much of that was an act. Spock felt extremely strongly, it was easy to see if you just knew how to read him. McCoy liked to think that he had gotten much better at that while on this mission with the half Vulcan, and now most of the ribbing that went back and forth between them was jesting to amuse themselves and Jim. Though he would only grudgingly admit it, he felt as though Spock had come to become just as close to him now as Jim had over their Academy days.

McCoy secretly welcomed that, since the people he truly trusted in his life were very few. To get over his failed marriage and losing everything that he held dear, he put up extremely high and thick walls of gruffness, skepticism, and dryness to prevent anyone from getting through to him, and he was mostly successful in that. He felt that it was better to keep everyone at a comfortable distance rather than risk that kind of pain again, but there were two very important exceptions to this. The Captain and the First Officer of this ship. Both of them had found a way to sneak past the near impenetrable wall he had created and see him for what he truly was. Though this unnerved him at first, he appreciated that now.

Especially now that Jocelyn had yelled in his face that the last thing that would be happening is letting Johanna speak with him on Christmas day since she determined that it was more important for his daughter to get accustomed to her new family, since Jocelyn had finally married the man she ran away with. Actually had the gall to tell him that he was a part of Johanna's past and that he and she had to move on, since he wouldn't be in her life much any more. Though he'd ended up hanging up on his ex in that comm in anger, those words stung him to the core.

Perhaps this new man Jocelyn found gave her the kind of attention she felt she needed, and maybe he wasn't so bad with Johanna, but he was still Johanna's father, damn it. And that bitch of an ex wife was planning on taking the last thing that meant anything to him from his past, on Christmas no less. The next breath he sucked in sounded suspiciously like a sob, and though he was usually able to push those feelings down and lock them away in a part of his brain where he didn't have to think about it, the hopelessness of this situation just got to him as he looked at a picture of Johanna and himself where the two of them were laughing as he spun her around in the air, unable to stop the despair at perhaps never seeing his daughter again from rushing right through him. He closed his eyes, pushing out some of his tears as he sobbed again.

He didn't even notice the buzzing at his door, only looking up in surprise as the door slid open without him opening it, realizing the lock had been overridden when he saw who was behind it. It was true that he had grown closer to Spock as of late, but he definitely didn't want the Vulcan to see him being such an illogical human mess. He was in no mood of any kind of visitors, ironic since feeling as though he was now absolutely alone putting him in this mood in the first place.

“What do you need, Spock?” he said gruffly, trying to quickly wipe his tears off of his face to hide them.

“I wished to discuss the latest trial of my research but I grew concerned when you did not answer and I heard sounds of distress behind the door.”

Spock approached McCoy carefully as though he was attempting not to startle him, the doctor just snapped at him, “Don't you have any concept of privacy, or is that only another batty human idiosyncrasy?”

The First Officer continued to move toward him, and he appeared not to be bated by his words, only softly responding, “I only wish to help. It...troubles me to see you in this state.”

McCoy could only blink at him in confusion and surprise, since even with the two of them growing to understand each other a little better, this never involved any sort of sharing of emotions or personal troubles. The doctor just breathed in slowly and looked at the floor, speaking grudgingly and slightly bitterly, “It doesn't matter. It's nothing you can help me with.”

Spock moved yet closer and he spoke with such a genuine sincerity that McCoy couldn't help but feel his breath sticking in his throat, “Perhaps I may not be able to solve the problem, but I have learned that relating upsetting incidents with someone else helps ease the burden that is felt on oneself. I wish to listen.”

McCoy felt another surge of emotion well up in him, and he was barely able to keep it down at Spock's honest desire to help him. He wasn't sure why the usually very calm and logical Vulcan was getting so concerned over someone that always gave him a hard time, whether that was in humor more often than not now, but it touched him, and he couldn't stop the words from tumbling out of his mouth as a result.

“My ex wife...she wants to cut contact between me and Johanna.” his eyes drifted over to the photograph again sadly, “That's my daughter.”

Spock's eyebrow then slowly went up, and in a protective tone that sent a chill straight down McCoy's spine he quietly said, “She has no right.”

McCoy finally just shook his head and met eyes with him again, “Whether she has any legal right to or not, who can stop her? I'm here galaxies away while my baby girl is starting a new life with a new family.”

McCoy's eyes teared up again, but he stopped those tears from falling. It didn't matter how much he cried, his daughter was lost to him now. He knew then that he had to do the thing he had learned best when his ex wife broke his heart and took everything from him...he had to close all of those feelings off and walk around like nothing had even happened. It was true that he found the whole Vulcan idea of 'logic over emotion' thing rather irritating usually, but now it was looking extremely tempting. If only he had the ability to lock away all those thoughts and feelings in his mind forever, and be able to move forward with a clear head.

But no, he was human, and when one was human, they had to grieve over what they lost. What shocked him was the sensation of Spock's hand suddenly on his shoulder and words of promise, “I will not let this pass. No matter her personal thoughts on you, she has no right to exclude you from your own child's life, when you have clearly shown desire and interest in taking part in her upbringing. I will do everything in my power to help you, Leonard.”

McCoy wasn't sure what to say or even think with the determination and concern Spock regarded him with, and his face reddened just slightly as he realized just how close their bodies were. It was true that he never regarded Spock in any kind of sexual or romantic fashion, but something about the intensity rolling off the other flooded all of his senses. That, and hearing the other calling him by his first name rather than 'Doctor' also felt nice. He was abruptly reminded of how he hadn't allowed anyone this close to him since his divorce with his wife, so to feel Spock's hand squeezing his shoulder in comfort, and feeling the other's heat near him definitely sent some wonderful sensations running up his nerves.

The doctor gulped and responded carefully, “Thank you. You don't know what that means to me.”

A few more moments passed, but Spock didn't move away from him, and he didn't move away either. He then just let impulse control him, just doing what came naturally on finding out he found a friend that cared so much about him in Spock. He lunged forward and pulled Spock into a tight hug. Moments after he made the move, he wondered just what was in the water that would make him think it was a good idea to hug a Vulcan like this, but Spock shocked him again by raising his own arms up to hug him back.

McCoy let his own breath out very slowly against Spock's neck as the hug kept going between them, realizing that the two of them should have pulled away far sooner for it to be considered just friendly. So what was this? He knew that he didn't want to move away from the other, and it was obvious that Spock felt the same. He also knew that if it hadn't felt so nice he would have already thought himself out of this far too long hug, not often feeling deserving of such affection, especially not from Spock.

He gulped one more time and his hands shook as he let them run down Spock's back slowly enough for the other to push him away if he'd completely misread the signs, but the Vulcan didn't move as he softly ran his hands all the way down. This was definitely dangerous territory to find himself in, and as much as it scared him, it excited him too. He decided to just turn his mind off, just for a few blissful minutes. His breath caught in his throat as he moved back from Spock slightly to look into his eyes, and it wasn't the usual calm, cool, and collected look he found there. No, those eyes were filled with so much care and concern for him, and then he just couldn't stop himself.

McCoy leaned forward quickly and locked Spock in a passionate kiss, feeling so grateful to the other and just wanting this physical connection with another being. He then let his hands run into Spock’s hair, finding it silky under his fingertips, and Spock responded by pulling him even closer. How could it be that Spock wanted him of all people like this? He thought he was straight, what with his involvement with Uhura and all. And really, even if he was bi, he thought he’d want Jim, since he knew how close the two of them were. He couldn’t believe that Spock could have any desires like this for him.

But, he wasn’t foolish enough to question a good thing, especially after not touching anyone like this for as long as he had. And it appeared that Spock had no objection to this turn of events, his hands moving down to rest over his behind and pull him flush against him. That made McCoy gasp into their kiss and then begin to plant kisses all the way down the Vulcan's neck, the heat of the other's skin feeling pleasantly warm against his lips. Spock made a quiet murmur of approval and he slid his thumbs under McCoy's shirt to teasingly rub against his sides and stomach, making the doctor shiver with anticipation.

Just where was this going? If he asked himself, he had no choice but to admit that he just wanted more after being starved of touch for so long, but he had to ask why Spock was acting now? He didn't want this to be some kind of move to make him feel better in his terrible situation, with Spock just going along with this to please him. He couldn't ignore his mind any longer, since he never wanted to set himself up for the kind of hurt he'd already experienced in his life, the consequences of which he was still experiencing today.

With an extremely hesitant push, he distanced himself from Spock to suck in a deep breath, and he asked, “Spock...I...I really do want this, but...I think we need to talk for a minute here.”

Spock seemed to take his own calming breath on replying evenly, “Very well. What do you wish to speak about?”

McCoy couldn't help the dry chuckle at that, but then looking at Spock very seriously, “I think the right question is, what do we talk about first? How long have you felt this way about me? What would you want to happen between us after this? Why now?”

With so many years of his life already wasted in one failed marriage, he wasn't itching to find himself in another relationship where the people in it may not be on the same page. He knew that now he was older and wiser, and as much as it made the mystique of falling in love a little less attractive, it really was best to just lay it all on the table before both people got way too far in to come out without being hurt. His heart already had too much to bear in this regard, and this is what had him looking at Spock expectantly as the Vulcan thought over his questions before answering.

Looking down finally, Spock's cheeks took the slightest of green tinges, something that McCoy suddenly found very cute for some reason, and he answered softly, “I cannot say when my regard toward you changed from strictly platonic to romantic in nature. It is a change that has had me reconsider my first thoughts on you and in recent weeks, I have been experiencing a very distinct...physical attraction to you.”

It was McCoy's turn to blush at this, and he muttered, “For a Vulcan, you sure know a thing or two about flattery.”

Spock shook his head once and responded, “It is not flattery. It is truth.”

After a moment of silence, Spock continued, “As far as my expectations on the change in our relationship as a result of this, I leave that decision entirely up to you. I would not be opposed to 'dating' you, as I understand that is what done in human relationships where both parties involved share a similar physical and emotional attraction, unless I have direly misread your thoughts on this situation.”

McCoy chuckled again, more amused this time, “For once, you're right on the money. I'm not sure when things changed for me either, but now...this just feels right.”

Spock just nodded his agreement, reaching out to lightly place a hand on his shoulder. McCoy couldn't help but sigh and give him a small smile. The smile didn't stay long though as he realized that Spock didn't answer one of his questions. Knowing Spock, it wasn't because he forgot about it. He obviously ignored it, and he had to find out why.

Clearing his throat, the doctor softly asked, “As much as I want this, and how much you clearly want this too...why now? I know that if hasn't been too long since you and Lt. Uhura broke up-- ”

Spock swiftly interrupted him, his skin going greener in what was presumably embarrassment, “Nyota is a wonderful woman...thoughtful, kind, extremely intelligent, but I...I did not feel the appropriate connection. I did not feel...this.”

Spock's eyes turned shyly to him, and then McCoy felt himself flushing again, as the Vulcan continued speaking, “This was why I had to end our romantic association. I would not stay with her when she expected me to feel the same way when I did not.”

“Oh, Spock.” McCoy said sympathetically, reaching out to lightly touch his face, knowing how it was to want to love someone so much because you know they loved you, but still being unable to do so.

Spock looked at the floor again, “She was a blessing on the loss of Vulcan, my mother, and most of our people. I am certain I would not have fared nearly as well without her continued kind words and support. But...on coming to terms with my losses, I found...that I did not view her in the romantic way she wished. The way she viewed me. I could not justify to myself any right in making use of her feelings in this way, so I had to end our romantic relationship.”

McCoy's face got even more sympathetic and he pulled Spock into a hug and spoke into his hear, “Relationships and love are never easy, Spock. Nothing really feels like it could be the right decision for everyone involved, especially in situations like that.”

Spock only nodded back and pulled closer to him, making him feel warm inside again that the Vulcan trusted him so deeply. He wasn't sure how he'd obtained that trust, but he'd sure as hell do whatever he could to feel as though he'd earned it. After a long moment, Spock spoke again, “And I do mean to help you with your daughter.”

“Really, Spock, I do appreciate it, but there's not much – ”

“It is a promise.” Spock cut him off stubbornly, and McCoy knew that there wasn't anything he could say to change the other's mind.

He didn't overly want to either. It really felt nice to have someone so eager to help him in his corner for once, and especially in a situation like this one? It was absolutely invaluable to him. McCoy then sighed and then pulled close to Spock once more. The silent moments where he felt this appreciated were far too few in his life, and so he would take advantage of it.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

The stars the Enterprise was passing by that evening were beautiful. They usually were she supposed, but Nyota Uhura never much bothered to look before now. And now that she'd finally made it here, she couldn't even enjoy the splendor before her. All due to one specific Vulcan that wouldn't leave her thoughts, no matter what she did. 

Spock...when she took his class in the Academy, she thought he was brilliant. When she pursued friendship with him, as much as he resisted politely at first, she thought he was amazing, funny, witty. When her feelings changed to romance toward him, she found him to be deep, fierce, and caring. The moment that he lost everything important to him, she vowed to be there for him, to protect him, to care for him, because he deserved all that and more.

Maybe he did rub a lot of people the wrong way at one point or another, their current Captain included, but Spock was amazing, and he was hers. Well, had been hers. 

“A nice night, isn’t it?”

A soft voice brought her out of her thoughts, and she had been so distracted that she hadn’t even noticed when someone entered the room. A quick turn of her head revealed that it was none other than the Captain himself, James T. Kirk. She found him to be giving her a small playful smile and she let out a small sigh. It was true that over the time they spent together on this mission, she’d gotten to know him better, and though he certainly wasn’t just the smooth talking, promiscuous, country hick she’d initially thought him to be, she wasn’t sure he knew what it was like to be in any kind of long term committed relationship.

How could he understand anything she was going through if all he seemed to be interested in was a tally of how many beautiful women in the universe he could be with before his time was up? She was sure that she didn’t have any patience for his flirting today, while on any other regular day she wouldn’t have minded it. It long became somewhat of a routine between them rather than any sort of serious exchange, where he would attempt to ask her out and she would find creative ways of rejecting him. It was all in fun, they both knew it she was sure, but now…she just couldn’t.

She then looked back out of the view port and replied politely, “Nice enough.”

She was hoping that her short response would convey to him that she wasn’t in the mood for company, but she obviously wasn’t all that successful since he moved closer to her and said, “I like coming here. This is my favorite observation deck. Nice and quiet, since it’s not as crowded as the larger decks, and still offers a spectacular view.”

Nyota was definitely not in the mood for the flirting she was sure was coming, or any small talk with him, so she turned back to him and said, “I don’t think I’d be very good company right now.”

“What are you talking about? You’re always great company.”

And there it was. The playful tone, the tiny smirk, the suggestive eyebrow. On any other day…but this wasn’t any other day. This day, she had no boyfriend, she had no plans for her personal future, and frankly, she wasn’t willing to put up with anything meaningless in this second. 

She stood up from where she was sitting quickly and said, “I don’t want to ruin your time here, Captain. I’ll leave you here in peace.”

As she made to leave the deck, he stopped her by standing in the way of the exit, a look of apology and surprise flashing over his features as he said, “Lieutenant. I’m sorry if I upset you. Please. You should stay. You were here first. I can go if you want to be alone.”

Instantly, Nyota felt a little guilty for making him feel unwelcome, and she let out one more sigh and took a seat again, saying, “I’m sorry. You can stay. I’m just…not in the best of moods right now.”

He made a noise of acquiescence and then took a seat next to her, “Anything you want to talk about? I know that you know I like to talk, but I can listen too.”

She turned to him one more time and found an unexpectedly kind expression on his face that touched something in side of her. In spite of that, she chuckled slightly mirthlessly and said, “Not sure you’d be all that interested. Nothing involving explosions or pretty girls.”

Giving her a small and encouraging smile, he said, “I’m sure you’re wrong about the pretty girl part.”

This time, there was no flirting involved with his comment. It was just a pure, unadulterated compliment. A compliment from Jim Kirk with an expectation of nothing from her in return? Now that was something she definitely wasn’t expecting. 

And this was why she found herself opening up before she realized what she was saying, “I never thought I wouldn’t be enough for him. I never thought I wasn’t trustworthy enough to be told the truth.”

She lowered her eyes, unable to hide the pain in them at her comment, knowing she was speaking out of nowhere, but also knowing he must already be filled in on the full situation with Doctor McCoy being his best friend. She couldn’t bear to meet eyes with him, but she heard him let out a small and sad noise, carefully replying, “You can’t think that. Of course Spock trusted you. It’s just…matters of the heart are always complicated.”

Nyota couldn’t help but chuckle a little bitterly again, “Funny you’d be the one telling me that.”

His smile then turned a little melancholy as he looked away from her out of the view port then, “I wish love was as perfect as the way those we love seem to us, but it never is.”

She was silent for a long moment then, also just looking out at the stars as she tried to gather her thoughts. She hadn’t talked to a single person about her break up in interest of keeping her and Spock’s personal life private, even when the rumor mill was turning and her closer friends on the ship kept asking. She hadn’t cracked, because she didn’t want to admit that she was the one that lost the most. That Spock had found someone else to love him, while she…she had all her hopes pinned on him. It was true that she and Spock never actually discussed their future in any certain terms, but she thought that when Vulcans didn’t do uncertainties in the matter of relationships. That once they made a choice, they stuck with it. But Spock didn’t choose her. She wasn’t enough.

She looked back to the Captain then, and she said, “He told me that he wanted to find a Vulcan mate to help his people. But he actually just didn’t know how to tell me that I just wasn’t what he wanted. Who he wanted.”

It hurt even more to admit that out loud and she sucked in a painful breath as she felt her eyes burn. In the back of her mind, she chastised herself for getting emotional in front of Kirk of all people, but she couldn’t help herself. She realized right then that she had to get this out somewhere, and if he was the one to hear it, so be it. She supposed that she should just be thankful that he wasn’t making fun of her or giving her a dumb look in response to her pain.

His eyes got sadder as he looked at her and he softly said, “It might be true that Spock didn’t know what he wanted, but don’t ever think that it was because you weren’t good enough.”

Nyota then looked into her Captain’s beautiful blue eyes and blinked in shock. How could she have not seen this man before? A man so concerned for how she felt about herself, a man willing to give up on flirtatiousness in interest of making her feel better, a man that was able to give her a look of genuine kindness…a good man. She thought she understood who James T. Kirk was, but she could easily see that she was wrong. Nyota felt a great warmth growing in her chest, and she couldn’t help but smile slightly back at him at his attempt to lighten her spirits.

Something happened in her, all due to his simple kindness, and now…she was sure that their relationship was forever changed. She looked down shyly, and quietly said, “Thank you, James.”

His lips turned up slowly, presumably because she’d never called him by his first name before, and he replied, “It’s no problem, Lieutenant.”

She shook her head and said, “No. Nyota, please.”

Now his smile turned shy as he then responded in a soft and meaningful tone, “Okay. Nyota.”

It was the first time she’d ever heard him say her first name. A name that she refused to give him when he’d first asked her due to her less than good first impression of him, and one she’d never given to him in any kind of personal interaction after that. One that he only knew due to Spock saying it in front of him, and then becoming the captain of their vessel. A decision she immediately regretted now. 

It sounded rather nice from his lips. When she looked into his eyes again, she was struck with how deep they seemed to her, now that she bothered looking. Really looking. Seeing past all of his coy behavior and slick reputation, she could only see that wonderful person he kept hidden from most of the world. Her heart skipped a beat and suddenly the air felt thick between them. She silently gulped and wondered right then and there if she was in trouble.

Her eyes were then drawn to one of his hands that he slowly raised in a hesitant movement, her breath catching in her throat as he lightly rested it on her arm. Warmth rushed through her from the point of contact, and she very nearly shivered.

“I’ll…get going now, but…See you later?”

His tone lacked any of his usual over self confidence, and just sounded hopeful and maybe even the slightest bit vulnerable. Nyota lightly bit her lip in trying to contain her own shyness in this changing situation between them, and she softly smiled, “Yeah, definitely.”

She thought the Enterprise would drive straight into a supernova before she’d ever agree to any of Jim Kirk’s advances, but this…all of this, completely caught her off guard. Pleasantly surprised her in a way she thought he’d never be able to surprise her. She liked to see the best in people, and to find this side of him was like finding gold. Perhaps she was able to think logically and systematically in a way that Spock had taught her to do, but maybe in the way she’d taught Spock, she could allow herself to just feel.

It wasn’t the meaningless flirtation and playfulness they usually engaged in. Whatever this was, it was new, and she found that she liked it. Jim let go of her arm finally, giving her one more smile before he left her alone on the deck once more. She immediately missed his presence in a way she never could admit to before. What a dangerous road to find herself on so soon after a break up with someone so important to her, but what was attraction, love, and affection without a little bit of risk?

A poorly won victory, that was for sure. She smiled as she looked out at the stars again. It truly was a beautiful night.

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

Some weeks had passed since the day Spock had come to his door and changed his life, and as bitter as his heart was, McCoy had to admit that he’d never been happier during his whole time in Starfleet. Perhaps just having someone that you know cares about you in your life can make a difference. Jim had even made a point to tease him about being in marginally less of a bad mood, and only threats of hypos and physicals got him to stop. It wasn’t as though he had lack of things to tease Jim about in return.

The prime subject being the deepening friendship he seemed to have struck up with Lieutenant Uhura of all people. It was rather strange that she also was Spock’s ex girlfriend, but McCoy wouldn’t even let himself think on that one too long. Things between Spock and Uhura were probably awkward enough. He hardly wanted to throw himself into this situation too. Perhaps Jim just needed someone like her to keep him in line and out of trouble, and she needed someone that could understand her on a level that Spock couldn’t.

He couldn’t say he was all together unhappy about their break up, since the direct result was that he could then be with him, but he never wanted her to be hurt as a result. So another great reason for Jim to distract her from all of this. If there was one thing he was good at, it was distracting, especially if he had anything to say about it. He pushed Jim out of his mind as he packed up the last of his things off of the Enterprise, since the entire crew was being forced to go on a three week leave off of the ship for a mandatory refit.

It wasn’t as though the crew hadn’t earned this long leave after all the adventures, or misadventures, they ended up in. It was just their luck, he supposed, being that they were Starfleet’s flagship. And the fact that James T. Kirk was their captain. As much as Jim ended getting himself in trouble, he’d more than done his part in keeping other members out of the same kind of trouble. Jim cared about all of them far more than he cared for himself, and McCoy was the one that had to put him back together again when he sacrificed himself yet again to save someone new. As much as he pulled his own hair out over this hero complex of Jim’s, he loved him for it at the same time. Perhaps the two of them never had any kind of romantic feelings for each other, but Jim was one of the few other people in his life that he could count as firmly in his corner.

That was more valuable to him than anything, when so much else seemed as though it was taken from him. His mind turned back to Spock, and he let himself smile, feeling safe in the privacy of his quarters. He was sure that no one had seen him smile as much as he had started doing, and he was sure this trend wouldn’t end any time soon with the way that the green blooded hobgoblin had weaseled his way straight into his heart. He was so grateful, and he wasn’t sure just how to repay Spock for any of this. The only thing he felt he could do was to keep treating the Vulcan well, since he knew that Spock deserved at least that much.

With Jocelyn telling him that she would not be allowing any visitation with Johanna, and wasn’t even entertaining the idea of a video conference with her in interest of having her ‘adjust with her new family,’ McCoy just had no idea what he would do with himself over this leave. Thankfully, Spock realized the awkwardness of this situation, and he invited the doctor to spend the leave with him. McCoy would have refused, already feeling like he was taking advantage of the other’s kindness on far too regular a basis, but the knowledge of a cold and lonely Christmas was enough to have him changing his mind. 

Spending some time with Spock away from the prying eyes of crewmates would be a welcome change. Though both he and Spock were very private about their personal lives, the news of their relationship still made it around the ship. It was to be expected. When you are stuck with the same people for such long stretches of time, gossip was the only way to keep things interesting at times. All in all though, McCoy really did want some time alone with Spock. In spite of the beginning of their relationship being so passion driven, the doctor insisted that they take it slow with the intimacy to make sure they weren’t rushing into things they both weren’t ready for.

He wondered just what he’d accidentally hypoed himself with that made him think that at the time. With that little taste he got, he found ideas of a similar nature slipping into his mind at the most inopportune times, so he hoped that this trip would be a way to relieve some of that tension as well. Looking around his room, he picked up the small picture of Johanna that he kept on his shelf, and tucked it away in his bag too. If he couldn’t see her now, he at least wanted some part of her near him. With that, he headed to the transporter room to meet with Spock and then get off the ship. 

As he expected, Spock was already waiting for him in the transporter room, and he couldn't help but crack the other a small smile, another testament to the positive effect that the other was having in his life, and he asked in part playfulness and part bitterness, “So, where to first? I really don't have anywhere where I'm wanted, so I'll leave our travel plan up to you.”

Spock raised an eyebrow at him, but as he'd learned to see, the look in the Vulcan's eyes was quite warm, and he replied in his classic calm and even tone, “I believe I know of a place you would much like being.”

Leonard frowned thoughtfully at that, “Oh, and where's that?”

The look then turned mischievous on his reply, “It is, as you say, 'a surprise.'”

Leonard could only give a dry chuckle, “Vulcans giving surprises? What's the world coming to?”

He then followed Spock onto the transporter pads, and he held his breath as they were energized. He always hated traveling on these things, finding it to be so completely unnatural, but he knew that sacrifices had to be made in interest of speed and efficiency. But Leonard reserved the right to curse the person who created this contraption the day it finally malfunctioned while he used it and scattered all his atoms all across space. He pushed that thought out of his mind when thankfully he arrived at their destination all in one piece. He blinked and looked around in disbelief.

Back in the south, right back where he started from. Where he was before Starfleet, with a family, and, depending on when one looked back on, where he last was happy. Not that he would say that anymore, with Spock in his life, but this place held both his happiest and his worst memories. 

After looking around in shocked silence for a good minute or two, he finally looked back to Spock and said in both sadness and confusion, “But…why here? You and I know that there’s nothing left for me here.”

Spock just looked deep into his eyes and spoke in what had to be the most comforting and warm tone he’d ever heard from the other, “Curious thing to say when I believed the most important person in your life resided here.”

He could only let out a sigh at that, and he replied slowly, “You know there’s no one more important to me than Jo-Jo, but that woman won’t let me anywhere near her.”

The Vulcan’s lips twitched just slightly upward as he responded, “You might be interested in learning that it is quite otherwise.”

McCoy’s mouth just dropped open at that, “There isn’t a damn thing I could have said to her to make her think otherwise. How in the world could you have…?”

“After our discussion on the matter some weeks prior, I immediately got in touch with a human cousin of mine that resides here on earth and who also happens to be a lawyer, to discuss the range of your rights and action we should take if said rights were denied to you. After she was able to get in touch with the Court that presided over your custody proceedings and your ex-wife, she made sure a far more satisfactory agreement had been reached. I also was told that the Court was less than pleased to find that your visitation rights had been largely denied, which led to far more cooperation by your ex-wife as well.”

McCoy couldn’t help but give Spock a bit of a devious grin at hearing that and at seeing the way the edges of the other’s eyes crinkled slightly to betray a similar amusement.

“Oh, you sneaky Vulcan, I could just kiss you.” He teased back, not denying himself when he was suddenly on top of the world, pulling Spock into a deep kiss, not caring who could see.

What did that matter when he loved the other man more than he ever thought he could love anyone? When Spock brought back to him the most precious thing in his life that he already thought was lost to him forever? He was sure that Spock called in a whole lot more favors to make this happen than he was letting on, and for that, he knew that he had to make this up to the other somehow. This was an occasion that his relationship rules were getting tossed out of the window, since that was most likely the quickest way he could show Spock his gratitude and allow them both to enjoy it.

Not that it was a hardship on him to do so. They both wanted this, he was certain. Once their breaths ran out, Spock lightly stroked McCoy’s cheek and said, “Please, follow me.”

Spock led him straight to the door of a place he called home some time a million years in his past. McCoy quickly reminded himself that he wasn’t the man that lived in this house anymore. He wouldn’t be brow-beaten by Jocelyn anymore, and he knew that he was worth something, in spite of the hurtful things she had said to him near the end of their marriage. And since his nervousness and anxiousness over this must have been coming off of him in waves, Spock leaned close to his ear to softly whisper, “You are here to see your daughter and nothing more, k’diwa. I will deal with her.”

In addition to his soft words, he felt Spock lightly stroking his pointer and middle fingers with his own, and that show of affection comforted him. On Spock determining that he was now ready, the Vulcan rang the doorbell. It was true that he and Jocelyn weren’t together anymore, but when he answered the door, he had to admit that she was still as beautiful as she ever was. Well, at least until her eyes settled on him.

Then her expression soured to the one that he was well used to in the last few years as she spoke in a short and irritated tone, “Leonard.”

McCoy couldn’t help but gulp. Hearing her voice in that tone still did something to his insides, and if it wasn’t for Spock quickly taking his hand to give it a quick squeeze, he might have cringed right on the spot. Taking a deep breath to keep calm and keep reminding himself that he was worth something, he nodded and then followed her inside the house behind Spock. All of those negative feelings evaporated in an instant on hearing a squeal of excitement.

“Merry Christmas, Daddy! Oh, I’ve missed you so much!”

McCoy was grinning bigger and brighter than he had in years, scooping up his little girl in his arms to hug her tight and spin her around in a joyful circle, “Oh, I’ve missed you more than anything, baby girl.”

He was laughing and crying all at once, huffing as he set her down, “You’ve gotten so big! You’ve sprout up just like a giant!”

Johanna giggled and hugged him again, “I’m so glad you’re here! I’ve got so much to show you!”

“Well, you’d better catch me up on everything then!” McCoy laughed as Johanna grabbed his hand and dragged him up to her room to presumably catch him up on the last few years of her life.

It was a long time coming, and all come true when he’d lost hope of ever seeing his baby again. Now that she was back, he wasn’t likely to ever let her go again. And he owed it all to Spock. His wonderful friend, boyfriend, lover, everything. That evening, he definitely would be showing him just how thankful he was.

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

When the visit with his daughter was over, many video conferences were promised and from the glare that Spock gave his ex wife from behind him, Leonard knew she would not go back on her word this time. He knew by this point that Spock’s anger was something that wasn’t trifled with if one wanted to get away in one piece. Perhaps no one knew that better than Jim.

But that was all put out of mind the minute the two of them were out of the door, McCoy took Spock's hand in a carefree way and laced their fingers together. He hadn't felt this way since his younger days, far before he'd entangled himself in a failed marriage and years of depreciation to his self esteem. The days when he had hope that one day he would find the one person he was supposed to be with. Maybe it wasn't true that one only had one chance at that happily ever after. Perhaps the universe was kind enough to grant second chances.

At least, that's what he felt like with Spock's warm hand in his own. His thoughts were broken when the Vulcan softly spoke, “I have investigated the geography of the area, and have found much mention of a picturesque plateau that is not far from here. I believed that it would be an opportune chance to view the area ourselves, as we are quite near to it.”

McCoy couldn't help but grin. He knew the place well. Everyone in this area knew of it, as it was one of the very few places that one might find time alone with someone completely away from the view of others. He nodded back, giving Spock's hand a soft squeeze and said, “I'd be up for that.”

Spock took out his communicator and ordered for beam down to the base of the plateau, and while they were on the ship, picked up some necessary supplies for a short hike. McCoy hadn't been in the area for years, however, and just to be there again brought back a sense of nostalgia. It was just as beautiful as he remembered, as things in the South rarely changed, but it was all different, because Spock was here with him. McCoy couldn't remember a time when he smiled this much in the last few years, but he was thankful that this Vulcan...his Vulcan, was able to do this for him.

When they made it to the top, the view over the plains was frankly as spectacular as McCoy ever remembered them, and Spock had been thoughtful enough to bring a sheet to lay out for them to sit on. As they sat together, McCoy scooted close to him, he felt just like he was that sixteen year old boy bringing out his girlfriend on their first date to this place, and he smiled to himself. The two of them just sat silently for many moments, just sitting close and holding hands, when Spock turned to him and softly said, “Leonard...may I show you something?”

When McCoy turned to him, he saw Spock reaching a hand toward his face, but it he could see it wasn't just to touch his cheek. He obviously splayed his fingers out to reach his meld points, but was waiting to touch only with his permission. McCoy hesitated for half a second, knowing that he never was all that comfortable with the idea of someone in his thoughts that way, as those were just about as personal as anything was to get, but what did he have to fear? This was Spock, whom he felt he owed everything to. Spock, who let him know he was worth something. This is what caused him to finally give a small nod.

Spock's fingertips fit gently to his meld points, and he just gasped as the other's mind touched his. It wasn't the foreign presence in his mind he was expecting. It wasn't cold and clinical as every Vulcan made themselves out to be. This was possibly the deepest he'd ever felt in his life. It was warmth, affection, love, desire...every emotion Spock held for him brought out in the open for him to see, and with how suddenly the emotions rushed through him, he couldn't help being moved to tears, whispering, “Oh, God, Spock...”

He didn't have any idea what he was doing himself, but he reached out to touch Spock's face with one of his hands, and he willed the other to see just how much he meant to him. Just how he couldn't imagine living without him and just how thankful he was for everything Spock had done for him.

Spock sent him a positive sensation through their meld, and he thought to him, Ashal-veh, you mean so very much to me.

It was very strange to McCoy to hear Spock's voice in his mind, but it wasn't as disconcerting as he thought that could be. It was comforting to hear Spock's calm and affectionate voice there, and he attempted to think back to him, And you've made me realize that I can love again.

His hands were shaking with the overload of emotion he was experiencing through Spock, and it was underlined in his mind one more time just how much he could never ever tease Spock with any kind of seriousness about not feeling. He cupped both of Spock's cheeks then, and brought him in for a soft but passionate kiss. As Spock began to kiss back, the pleasure they both felt from the action began to rebound between them, and McCoy gasped again. Then, an acute feeling of desire washed over them both, as he realized then, both of them had been starving for each other in this time they had been together taking things slow.

Not any more, not under this kind of strain. McCoy made a small but desperate moan, just letting his hands run into Spock's hair as he crawled on top of the other, slowly pushing him down on the blanket they had spread out without breaking their kiss. Spock carefully ended the meld so that his hand could be put to better use, softly caressing his face while his other hand went down his back. McCoy was usually very private with intimate affections such as these, but he knew that he couldn’t stop himself. Not after feeling something like that.

He straddled the other’s body and he kept his own body pressed tightly to Spock’s, kissing him as deeply as he possibly could. It wasn’t as though Spock was completely passive either, his hands moving under McCoy’s shirt to run softly and teasingly over his skin. As cool and calm as Spock pretended to be around others, he sure knew how to elicit a strong reaction out of him when he wanted it. And now was one of those times, as McCoy closed his eyes and arched his back into Spock, feeling himself immediately becoming aroused.

Once more, just like a teen doing all of this for the first time. It was far from McCoy’s first time in any of this, but he felt as though this was a kind of new beginning for him. A time when he could finally get things right. Well, he wouldn’t be the only one reacting to all of this stuff, he would make sure of that. With this in mind, he latched his mouth on Spock’s neck to nibble and lick softly as he let his hands move down the other’s body, just want to touch him all. He pushed his hands under Spock’s shirt as well, not wanting the other to have all the fun.

He knew that Vulcans had a higher body temperature than humans, but it felt like a shock every time he touched that wonderfully warm skin, and he savored every one of those moments that he got the chance. McCoy wanted so much more, but the chill in the air reminded him that it would most likely be best if neither of them removed any of their clothes at this point. For the time being then, he let his hands run over the other's arousal through his pants, and he delighted in the shudder he felt go through Spock.

In response, Spock then flipped them over, thrusting his hips into McCoy's, starting some wonderful friction between the two of them, bending down to whisper hotly into his ear, “K'diwa...I desire you so greatly...”

McCoy could only moan back, returning all of Spock's movements with just as much passion, “God, I want you too.”

Soon, McCoy wasn't sure if he could take much more, but the last thing he wanted was to deal with needing a change of pants, especially in this freezing cold weather. With much hesitance, he finally pulled back from Spock and panted, “You have no idea how much I want to keep going...but we should move somewhere warmer and far more private.”

It somehow pleased McCoy to hear Spock just as out of breath as he was as he reached a hand to softly touch his cheek and reply, “Most logical assumption.”

The two of them collected their things, but before they started back down the hill, McCoy brought Spock in for one more deep kiss and whispered to him, “Don't you think for one minute that this is over. The minute we're in our hotel room...”

McCoy left it in the air, smirking at Spock and then leading the way down. He looked forward to all of the wonderful ways that sentence could end.

 

* * *


	5. Chapter 5

** Chapter 5 **

Jim knew that he was taking his chances returning to the same observation deck he and Nyota met on the weeks before Christmas, but he decided that he wouldn’t second guess the vibe he’d gotten from her that she’d want him to return.  Thankfully, he had been right.  He’d definitely had hit on many a woman, but rarely had he ever tried to just get to know one.  He honestly had very few true friends who he had let know him, and he found that he wanted Nyota to know him.

 

The real him.  Not just that smooth almost sleazy guy that blazed around on his motorcycle by day and hit on the hot ladies at the bar by night.  He let most people see that side of him, even when he’d entered Starfleet Academy, and there was really no reason to correct anyone’s opinion.  What did it matter what strangers thought of him when he was always able to prove himself where it counted?

 

And, honestly, he always loved breaking people’s expectations of him.  Especially now.  It was no secret that Nyota was pretty, drop dead gorgeous even…but she wasn’t another conquest to him.  It was true that before they’d served on the Enterprise together, he’d tried to hit on her the same as any other girl in the bar, but now, he was glad she turned him down then.  She would have become just another girl on his list, not anyone he’d become so glad to know.

 

It was unfortunate that the beginning of their friendship had to come in the circumstance of one of his good friends having to leave her for his other good friend, but he didn’t regret it for a moment.  She was every bit as fun and witty as she’d seemed in their scant few meetings before the Enterprise, and Jim found that he always wanted to spend more time with her.  Their nightly meetings on the observation deck extended to meals together in the mess hall and even a few games of chess when he found that it was one of her pass times as well.

 

But now, he was sure that whatever was going on between them was more than just friendship.  Jim was certain that he’d never felt this way before.  This vulnerable or this unsure.  He always set his goals and the achieved them one way or another, whether that was winning over his next woman or doing exactly what he was told that he couldn’t.  This was totally different.  He wanted her to like him, and that was it.

 

He didn’t care if she slept with him or not.  Didn’t care if she fawned over him, and honestly preferred it if she didn’t.  Jim was glad for the playful honesty they were able to build between the two of them, different from any other casual interactions he’d had with females in the past.  He was nearly embarrassed to admit even to himself that his feelings toward her, for her, were far more tender and affectionate than he ever was used to.

 

Jim never wanted to feel as though he depended on anyone, that he really needed anyone.  He learned early that the only person he really could depend on was himself.  The only person that had to approve of him was him.  He wouldn’t say that he hated his mother or older brother or step father, but each of them seemed to put themselves first.  And, with their examples, he knew he had to follow rather than spend his life seeking a kind of approval he would never attain.

 

Perhaps this is what led to his rebellious streak.  Just testing the boundaries of the forbidden.  And he could do it all on his own.  Though, for the first time in some fifteen years, he was questioning his early conclusions about not needing anyone in his life.  He wanted more with Nyota, he was ready to admit it now, but he would wait for if or when she’d be ready.  Jim was sure that his feelings were returned from the clues he picked up in their interactions, but in the off chance he was wrong, he wasn’t going to push it.

 

This slow but comfortable build of their relationship was something new, and he liked it.  Jim always relished in trying something new, and every time he got to spend with her was honestly a joy.  He smiled to himself as he headed to Nyota’s quarters to meet with her on Christmas afternoon, glad he was able to spend a Christmas with someone where most of the time wasn’t spent brooding.  The previous three years he spent the day with Bones, drinking the day away rather than partaking in any Christmas cheer, well, at least until the evening where he was able to find others just about as drunk as he was on the holiday.

 

He felt that this Christmas would set a new precedent for him.  One where he acted just the way anyone was expected to act on this day and in this time of year.  Well, at least with his spin on things, anyway.  He was still grinning as he buzzed at her door, turning the hat he was holding in his hands, not planning to don it until he was safely inside her quarters.  His smile found a way to grow as she greeted him and let him in.

 

“Hi, James.” she said, also smiling at him, inviting him to sit across from her at the small table in her room.

 

James.  Only Nyota called him that.  The only other times he ever was called ‘James’ was when he was in trouble, whether that had been with his mother or a teacher when he was very young, or law enforcement officials when he was older.  It was a name he associated with stuffiness, monotony, and all things negative.  But Nyota changed that all for him.  Her voice had this special lilt as she said it that always made him smile and look forward to the next time she would say his name.

 

He knew that he wouldn’t like anyone else to call him James, not even Bones or Spock.  No, this was just for her and was something special between the two of them, at least it was for him.  Even slick and smooth James T. Kirk was entitled to silly romanticism every now and then, especially since this wasn’t being widely advertised anywhere.  He might have been opening up to her, but he would keep everyone else walled out. 

 

It simply was better that way.  He then turned his mind to the lovely, smart, and wonderful woman in front of him and replied with a playful nod as he set the hat down on the side of the table, “Nyota.  I suppose I should be saying Merry Christmas?”

 

Both of them agreed that they wouldn’t be getting each other presents.  It definitely was better that way.  Why go through all this time and trouble guessing what someone might want when they could just get themselves exactly what they wanted anyway?  Christmas wasn’t ever big in his family, so he felt it was nearly the same as any other time of year.

 

But this year, he felt a great warmth, just seeing her smile at him as she said, “I’m glad that you came today.  It means a lot to me.”

 

He gave her a genuine smile in response, “There’s honestly nowhere else I’d rather be.  Usually I’d be off drunk caroling with Bones about now, but I’m sure he and Spock are— ”

 

Jim was about to crack some kind of dirty joke, but he abruptly stopped, realizing that this line of conversation was extremely awkward, given the reason that everything started between them, and he then smiled apologetically and spoke with an embarrassed tone, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring them up.”

 

Nyota’s smile then got slightly sad, “No, James, don’t worry about it.  I know that Spock and Dr. McCoy are your good friends.  No reason to feel like they’re a taboo topic around me.”

 

She was silent for a moment before her face got more serious, “It…was true that I saw a kind of future with Spock.  When he left me, I felt as though something was lacking in me, that maybe I did something wrong, said something that made him realize that it never would work…but eventually, I was able to see that it just wasn’t meant to be.”

 

That bittersweet smile returned to her face, “I can see how happy Spock is with the doctor.  I know he tries to act just the same as always, but he’s happier now than he’s ever been as long as I’ve known him.”

 

After a slightly tense moment, Jim decided to try steering the conversation away from Spock, since this was a sensitive topic, softly saying, “And what about you?  Are you happier?”

 

She was silent for a long moment, before looking at Jim to give him a soft smile, “Yeah, I really think I am.”

 

Nyota then shyly reached a hand across the table to touch one of his, and that made him smile back at her.  Whatever was going on between them felt far different than any other romantic interaction he’d shared with anyone in his life.  Most of his other romantic interactions were a means to an end.  What he had to do get whoever he wanted into bed with him.  Now, he just wanted to see Nyota smile.  He wanted to make her happy.

 

She was easily just as attractive as any woman that he’d been able to bed, but he knew she meant far more to him than that.  He took joy simply in being with her and talking to her.  He never was subject to such tender emotions before, so understandably he wasn’t all that sure how to proceed.  He knew that her situation with Spock had been a tough one, but he was glad to have helped her though that.

 

He wouldn’t deny that he was attracted to her, but he would take whatever she was willing to give.  Kirk didn’t allow himself before to hope for more, not wanting to even unintentionally force her into anything she might not have wanted.  But, from the way she was looking at him, the way that she was holding his hand, it seemed as though it wouldn’t be anything forced at all.  He’d never done this before, but now he knew that he had to take a chance.

 

His smile then turned a little shy as he looked at her, speaking in a soft tone, “You know…as corny as this is about to sound, I just have to say it.”

 

Kirk then reached out to take both of her hands in his own, and he continued to speak with even more vulnerability in his tone, “I’ve never felt this way about anyone.  I’ve never much wanted to just spend time with someone just because I liked them, and…If you feel the same way…I’d like to make this a little more official.”

 

The grin she gave him in response relaxed his nerves, and she replied playfully, “James T. Kirk asking a girl to go steady?  What has the world come to?”

 

She then gave his hands a squeeze and added, “I want the same thing.”

 

His grin then turned mischievous as he said, “Well, then, this might be a good time to put this on.”

 

Kirk reached out to put on the hat that he’d brought with him, mostly a joke, but there was only one person he wanted to use it with.  It had a sprig of mistletoe sticking over the brim of the hat in such a way that would bring anyone that stood near him under the mistletoe with him.  He got up from his chair and waggled his eyebrows at her playfully, grinning as he made her laugh, quickly pulling her in for a kiss.

 

For the first kiss they’d ever shared, it wasn’t too shabby.  It was soft, it was sweet, and it was unlike anything he’d experienced in his adult life.  The only other kisses he’d ever had that were anything like this were his first kisses in the third grade.  No, this was the first time he was just happy to kiss someone and not even be concerned by what came next.  He had no end game plan for once.

 

He didn’t need one.  They had plenty of time to get there, and he would be enjoying this ride. 

 

* * *


	6. Chapter 6

The five year mission finally came to a close. At the start of this mission, Nyota had an idea of how she wanted her life to be. She thought she and Spock would be bonded, and that the two of them would start a family, and perhaps even move to New Vulcan where they would live their perfect life together. Perhaps that was a bit naïve of her to think, but it hadn't mattered for a long time. 

Things turned out far differently than she ever expected them to, but she couldn't say that she was unhappy about any of it. Things always happened for a reason, she believed, and to have found her soulmate in James Kirk of all people was a pleasant surprise. She now felt as though no one could know her better, and no one was a better match for her than him. 

If she went back to her time before the five year mission and the Vulcan tragedy to tell herself that this would be the way her life would turn out, this was the man she would give her heart to, and this was the man that she would marry, she'd just have laughed in her own face, she was sure. But now, she knew that everything was just the way that it should be.

And, she really was pleased for Spock and Doctor McCoy. In a strange way that she wasn’t sure she altogether understood, the two of them worked, balancing each other out in ways she never thought possible with the way they constantly argued with each other. But, she did know Spock quite well, in spite of their own relationship not working out, and she could tell that he’d made the right choice in choosing the doctor to bond with instead of her.

If he had not made that choice, she wouldn’t have found James, and now she couldn’t imagine life without him. Which was one reason, among many others, that she was looking in the mirror just one more time to make sure everything about her dress and her look was just perfect for her wedding day. She was brought out of her thoughts by her friend Christine Chapel, who happened to be her maid of honor, as she said, “Oh, Nyota, you look great. There’s not a thing to worry about.”

Nyota turned to Christine and said, “Are you sure? This is kind of a one time thing that I can’t do over again if it goes wrong.”

Christine just chuckled at her nervousness and replied, “Everything will go fine. Jim is going to be floored.”

She took in one more breath and then smiled in nervousness and excitement. Yes, this was it. She nodded to Christine and then followed her out of the room. The ceremony was a small one, set up to take place on the grounds of the Starfleet Academy, since that was what brought the two of them together, against all odds. Since the two of them couldn’t have their wedding in the small observation deck on the Enterprise where most of the bonding in their relationship began, this was the next best choice. Naturally, all of their close friends in the crew were invited to their small ceremony, and when everyone took their places, she looked out on the small crowd, grinning back at everyone as she made her way down the aisle.

She knew beyond a doubt now that this is where she had to be. On meeting Spock’s eyes as she walked up, his lips were turned up just slightly in a smile, and that touched her, to see him looking so happy for her, and she returned with her own special smile for him. It was true they were not meant to be, but they still shared a kind of understanding with each other. Both of them had come to peace with the choices they made, and she could honestly say they both supported each other in those choices.

On looking up at the end of the aisle, Doctor McCoy stood next to James, as he was his best man, and she could see the doctor’s usually slightly grumpy face soften as they met eyes. He gave her a small smile and nod as she got closer to them, and this was another thing that warmed her heart. But, her heart completely melted when she finally met eyes with James. Oh, he looked so happy, and Nyota wondered if she’d ever seen him look that way before. She couldn’t help but grin brightly in return at him, feeling the same excitement for this day.

They exchanged their vows, and Nyota hardly realized what she was saying, just completely distracted by the way he looked at her so tenderly the whole time, the way he gently held her hands, the way he made her happy just by being next to her. And now, they’d be together forever, and she knew that there wasn’t a thing in the world she wanted more than this and him. And, finally, the ceremony ended and the two of them were announced as Mr. and Mrs. Kirk. 

Mrs. Nyota Kirk. Sure, it did sound a bit strange, but she decided that she really liked the sound of it. After the ceremony, the two of them went on to their reception, and it was then that the Doctor approached her when James had gone off to speak to his mother.

He gave her one of his typical wry smiles and said, “Congratulations, Mrs. Kirk. Mrs. Kirk…now that is something I never thought I would hear unless we were talking about Jim’s mother.”

Nyota grinned at his joke and replied, “Just a few years ago, I would have been with you on that one.”

Leonard’s smile softened slightly, “You’re good for Jim. If there’s anyone that can rein him in when he’s getting just a little too cocky, it’s you. I would definitely not want to get on your bad side.”

She laughed, “I think he’s learned that pretty quickly. But, really, he’s never been short of a perfect gentleman to me when it mattered. He’s not as bad as he lets everyone think he is.”

He gave her a nod in response to her analysis, “Wise woman. He’s never much liked letting people in, and he lets everyone see this façade of overconfidence. I’m glad you were able to get through.”

Her smile then turned the slightest bit teasing, “Speaking of getting through, I never properly congratulated you for your bonding to Spock. He really couldn’t have done better.”

This made Leonard’s cheeks color just slightly and he shuffled lightly in place when the topic of conversation shifted so suddenly to him, “Aww, thank you, Nyota.”

Her look turned slightly contemplative as she kept speaking, “When I was with Spock, I thought he was beautiful, smart, witty and all together wonderful, but I knew all along that something was missing. He never let me in or truly trusted me enough to tell me anything of his personal thoughts and feelings. But in all the time he’s been with you, I’ve seen him change. I’ve even see you change, Leonard. You both are so much happier.”

Nyota smiled again as he replied in a sheepish tone, “You’re going to make me blush here.”

Leonard’s eyes turned toward Spock then, who was engaged in a conversation with Scotty, and Nyota could see the way his eyes just lit up to look at the other. She was even more sure they were right for each other then.

“He’s given me so much. My self esteem, my renewed belief in love, he’s even given me back my daughter. I don’t know how I could ever do anything even close for him.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, Leonard. I know you mean the world to him. I can see it every time he looks at you.” She reached out to lightly touch his shoulder companionably, giving him an encouraging smile then.

Leonard then gave her as big a smile as she’d ever seen and he said, “You’d better get back to your husband, Mrs. Kirk. Wouldn’t want to lose him.”

She grinned at being called that, deciding she could get used to it, and she replied, “And you should get back to your bondmate.”

That made Leonard grin back and he gave her a nod of goodbye and headed in Spock’s direction. Her eyes then shifted to look through the crowd for James, and luckily, she saw him headed toward her. She grinned when he finally approached her, and she said, “Quite a party we’ve got going here. But, it’d be great to already get on to our next destination, wouldn’t you say?”

Nyota was more than ready to finally get a moment alone with her husband, and the best way to do that would be to skip the rest of the party to get there. It appeared that James had no disagreements to share, if the devious little smirk that came to her lips said anything. When she had seen him do that before the two of them got together, she would only roll her eyes, wondering which poor girl would fall prey to it.

But, when she truly began to understand him, it turned from annoying to down right sexy. That look went straight to her gut every time, and this time, she couldn’t resist capturing those extremely kissable lips with her own for just the briefest moments. She was never one for public displays of affection, and this was just a teaser for what was ahead.

“Whatever you say, Mrs. Kirk.” Joy then joined the mischief in his eyes, and he took her hand to stealthily pull her out of the party.

Before anyone could notice that they were gone, he pulled out his communicator and let their transporter liaison know that they were to leave for their next destination just a little before planned. And, nearly instantaneously, the two of them appeared at their honeymoon destination at what appeared to be just the right time. They'd picked a remote beach side location, just wanting to feel like they were the only people in the world, save room service of course, that existed in the world for just a few days.

Nyota found herself smiling as she looked out on the water by their hotel for just a moment, but the beauty of the beach was quickly forgotten in wake of thoughts of James and that wonderful way he was looking at her...as though she was the most precious thing in the whole world. The feeling was entirely returned, and she planned to show him just how much the second they reached their room. The check in at the front desk was very quick, and James held her hand tightly as they made their way to their room.

They'd thought ahead to have all of the belongings they'd need over the trip sent before they arrived, knowing the last thing they wanted to do was remember to bring extra clothes right after their wedding. Extremely good foresight on their parts with how abruptly they left their own reception party. They knew their friends and family would understand their need to begin their married lives together, learning sometimes in the harshest way possible during their five year mission, that nothing should ever be taken for granted.

Finally alone, Nyota turned to give James an extremely inviting smile, "Now, Mr. Kirk, mind helping your wife out of this troublesome garment?"

Her smile grew on seeing his return smirk, and the she turned her back to him and spoke over her shoulder, "And this had better be in one piece when you get it off, or you're in big trouble, mister."

He approached her with clear intent and he purred back playfully, soft and hot right over her ear, slowly beginning to open the buttons and clasps that kept her dress closed, "Yes, dear."

She shivered in response to that, unable to stop smiling. She was certain that she'd never been happier than in this moment, and she really hoped that she and James would have many more such moments to come between the two of them. Though thoughts of the future were dispelled as he carefully eased the dress downward and left her only in her undergarments. Special and extremely tiny undergarments she wore specifically for James' benefit.

Her smile was the mischievous as she stepped out of the dress, sauntering over to the large and comfortable bed in the room and then daintily sitting down on the end, speaking in a mock innocent tone, straightening her posture to show off her assets just a little more clearly, "Might you like to join me?"

His look then lit her on fire as he stalked toward her and then lowered himself to his knees in front of her, looking up and murmuring, "You are beautiful."

He then took her hands in his and kissed them, beginning to make his way upward. He crawled up to sit beside her with practiced efficiency as he kissed up her neck, and by the time he'd reached her lips, she felt herself trembling. She buried her hands into his hair to pull him closer, leaning back to encourage him on top of her, where he quickly complied. Her hands moved down to begin taking off his clothes too, murmuring back, "And you are just as easy on the eyes, pretty boy."

He grinned and kissed her neck, giving her a playfully mischevous look, "Aren't you glad you gave this farm boy a chance?"

"You're just lucky I like blue eyes. Otherwise, I wouldn't have even told you my name." she replied in a mock petulant way.

He then laughed in a way that made her feel warm inside and waggled his eyebrows at her, replying, "I'll show you that there's plenty more to like about me."

She giggled in response as he pushed her down and locked her in another deep kiss.

* * *


	7. Chapter 7

The years had passed on, and everyone on the old Enterprise crew settled into their lives on earth. McCoy had no problem moving with Spock to San Francisco, the both of them taking over positions at the Academy, him training the new physicians cadets coming in, and Spock returning to his Xenobiology position that he had left to deal with the Vulcan crisis, and then to go on the five year mission. Jim had also taken a post at Starfleet Academy as the head of the Tactics department, while Nyota worked in the communications department at Headquarters.

Their lives were good, and McCoy had to admit that he was happier now than he'd ever been. It was true that his relationship with Spock was far from perfect, their different ways of coping with situations being the subject of more than one argument, but he knew that what they had wasn't something that would fade or worsen over time. No matter how much they argued, he knew the other loved him beyond everything else. He could see it in the way the Vulcan looked at him, and he could feel it thrumming between them in their bond.

And this bond had to be the most miraculous thing that Spock had ever showed him, and it made him thankful for every weird freaky mind trick that Vulcans possessed, because, he didn’t care how strange it was if he sat down and thought about it. It let him know that he meant something, really meant something to someone else in the universe without a single doubt in his mind. It gave him the kind of balance in his life that he never had with his ex wife, and surely would never have with another person again. He didn’t plan on leaving Spock any time soon, and so he had no choice but to be the kind of man that Spock deserved.

It was nice to feel such a part of something with Christmas finally rolling around again this year. It was no longer a time he hated. It was easy to know why. He wasn’t alone and he finally felt needed this time of year. It wasn’t a time to just lock himself in his room and drink himself silly. He now could spend it with the people most important to him, and feel no guilt, remorse, or loss over a life in the past. He had moved forward, and he’d found a way to be happy in a way he thought he’d never find again on being rejected by his ex wife.

Spock found a way to let him know how he cared every day through subtle and not so subtle means, and McCoy appreciated every second of it. He broke away from his thoughts momentarily to take one last look at himself in the mirror. It wasn’t often that he cared much about his appearance beyond being clean and presentable, but he and Spock were about to leave for the Christmas party that Jim and Nyota were throwing, and since those parties tended to be big, he hardly wanted to make a bad impression of Spock having married a complete slob.

He never much liked parties while he was at Starfleet Academy or during much of their five year mission, but this was another thing that changed about him too. He now knew that he had something to celebrate and that people actually wanted him. That Spock would always want him. This made him smile to himself as Spock entered the room.

“Are you ready to leave?” Spock’s lips quirked upward to both see and sense his happiness through the bond.

McCoy then turned to his mate and he said, “As ready as I’ll ever be, I suppose.”

Spock paired his index and middle fingers, reaching them toward McCoy in a now very familiar gesture that he met with his own fingers, and he said, “You are quite handsome, as always, Ashal-veh.”

McCoy then let his fingers curl about Spock’s, making the gesture far more intimate as far as Vulcans were concerned, and with a small smirk on his lips he replied in a low tone, “You’re making it very tempting for me to make us late, Spock.”

The look in Spock’s eyes was then simultaneously warm and mischievous as he took the movement up a notch by rubbing those fingers all around his hand as he practically purred, “As easy as it would be to cave to the obvious desire, it is often said that waiting makes receiving all the more enjoyable.”

McCoy couldn’t help but shiver at the way Spock looked at him as he spoke in that tone, just about ready to throw the idea of going to the party out the window completely, but he knew the other was right. It would be much better if they waited.

McCoy’s smirk then grew lightly, “Fine, but now we might just be leaving early.”

“I would not dispute your logic on that point, k’diwa.” Spock’s look was far too playful, and McCoy knew that he had to get them out of there before he, himself, made it very impossible for them to leave.

“Alright, let’s just get out of here already.” He chuckled and began to lead the way out of their apartment.

As he was pulling the door open, Spock leaned close and whispered in his ear, “I very much look forward to our return.”

McCoy just hummed pleasantly in response and grabbed onto Spock’s hand as they moved to their transport, knowing then that this was the kind of life that he’d always wanted. He finally had found a home.


End file.
